The modern centralized internet has been designed to be nearly inaccessible on older devices, contributing to the capitalist throwaway culture surrounding technology, which is, in part, fueled by modern-day slavery. Corporations are generating record profits through planned obsolescence and the content bloat that accompanies it, often without regard for the extreme consequences of their actions. With proper accommodations, these devices could last for years longer than they currently do; however, such accommodations do not align with the current flat, monotonous, and, most importantly, marketable aesthetic that is prevalent in contemporary design, often characterized by excessive use of JavaScript. These platforms have become an infestation on the internet, stifling competition and perpetuating the false notion that individuals will use only these platforms to communicate with those around them. Although they appear to be free and ostensibly more accessible, we often rationalize their existence under these pretenses. In reality, they are neither free nor accessible when compared to their decentralized counterparts, as the user pays with their data and must buy hardware at an increasingly high demand that is capable of accessing said platform; which also comes at the cost of the freedom of others, as cobalt (a necessary material used in the manufacturing of computers) is often mined under the conditions of slavery. Due to the profits of centralized platforms being reliant on advertisers, the content presented must be deemed marketable and brand-friendly. Consequently, critical political information that falls too far left of the Overton window is often suppressed on social media. Conversely, this suppression does not extend to alt-right ideologies, which frequently find pathways for dissemination through social media, despite the lackluster censorship efforts. This phenomenon occurs because such ideologies generate revenue for these companies. By tacitly permitting the spread of fascism on these platforms, the preservation of an under-regulated capitalist system is assured, where stochastic terrorism has emerged as a viable business model. Marketing the preservation of capitalism through misinformation and slander campaigns against opposing political ideologies guarantees the safety of corporate wealth. TL;DR - Cobalt is mined under conditions of slavery and is used to manufacture spyware devices that devastate the environment in order to access bloated content that feeds the individual neoliberal and alt-right ideology to maintain their complicity in an under-regulated capitalist hellscape. Centralization and reliance on its authority foster a population that is docile and less likely to challenge the status quo. GET THE FUCK OFF THE COMPUTER AND GO PLAY OUTSIDE!